Bold Statement

Picture the most godly person you have ever met or dream to meet. Someone who knows the Word like the back of their hand. someone who can preach on the most controversial issues and you dont even want to argue, you just sit in awe of his level of understanding.

I am back at New Tribes for a week and this morning i met with Rex Gutwein. He has been involved with NTM for more than 35 years and is currently the President of the Bible Institute. He said to me this morning "My time is coming to an end. I can die today happy." How many people do you know that can say that and mean it whole heartedly. He continued to talk about how his entire Christian life (47 years as a believer - he is almost 60 now) God has been teaching him and throwing things his way so that he can do well in one thing. So he can have that moment where he can confidently say that he can die happy knowing that he accomplished what God set him out to do.

Can you say that? Do you want to say that? Im not into predesitination or any of that, but what if God desired one thing for you and after being a follower of Christ for 47 years you finally get there. Do you ever think to yourself "this is great, but it isnt it,"? What if God does have that for us?

Am i living every moment for that one moment? Should i live every moment for that one moment? Am i learning what God wants me to learn? experienceing what he wants me to experience? teaching what he wants me to teach? and in all, doing what he desires for me to do?

I want to be able to make the same bold statement one day. I want to confidently say before God, "i can die happy today."

im stuck here

today i found myself to be very home sick...well, school sick. it was pretty sad. then, stupid me, i was on my way home from work tonight after spending 4 hours being miserable because my manager is sexist (probably not, but thats how he makes me feel) and it hit me -- what made me so happy at school was that i could invest and be invested in and that i have only pulled away from most people here by working all the time and not making time for anyone.
so, its time to change that. im stuck here. i need to make it work.

sum-sum-summer time

This summer i have had a few road trips...some were fun, some, well they could have been better...
This was in Yosemite with my cousin Cameron who is 13 and he is 4 inches taller than me...we were there because we it was my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary...this is them...


Another trip i went on was to San Francisco. Dennis and Blair were visiting for a little while. This is the silver guy proposing to me hehe



I work in the JR High group at my church and we had a big dodgeball tournament and it was really fun. the staff team all wore tie died shirts with pink lip liner on our face. it was so great. we totally one.


this is just some more pictures...

If only...

So far this summer has been very difficult for me. I changed so much at school. Then i move back to California and life is so different. It has been quite a challenge. In the eyes of the world I have succeeded. To bad that in the eyes of God I have failed miserably. Whats a girl to do.

But anyways. This is a picture of my best friend Jessica. She's pregnant. I love her :-)